Questions

     When I was child I had the innocent thought that having a Grandmother living with you meant that days would be spent having tea and watching old movies.  However, in reality, it is not always that way.  My Grandmother instead spends her time trying to get out of bed, and we spend our time trying to keep her in bed.  Communication is also difficult, not much is understood on either side.  The only successful conversations held are between my Grandmother and her imaginary friends.  These consist mostly of children, however her mother and sister visit fairly often.  Eye contact also has become difficult, her eyes usually dance about the room unless it is one of her better days.

     My Grandmother does have her good days, and on those days she is able to hold decent conversation.  The trouble my family has encountered is knowing what to do when it is one of her bad days.  How do you comfort and keep someone company when they barely acknowledge your existence?  Do they know you are there but have lost the ability to communicate it?  Is there anything you can do to better their time here on earth?  These questions sometimes seem to have no answer, but I am determined to figure them out.

     It has surprised me that there is little written on the internet about keeping loved ones company when they have reached old age.  I would have thought there was someone who would wright down their experiences and ideas.  I have yet to check the library and I hope I will have luck there! I wish I had more to write about and something positive, but it has beens such a long week here with nothing exciting.  If my readers out there happen to know of books or websites that could be of help to my search for answers, please leave a comment!  Until next time, much thanks!

Watermelons and Children

     Mother's Day weekend and exams make taking time to post very difficult I have learned.  But I have returned!  Quite a but has happened with my Grandma.  She is doing as good with her health as expected, however there hasn't been any improvement with her dementia.

     I did not realize how bad it had become until a few days ago.  My Grandma asked me to lock the door because a hideous man had come inside her room that she thankfully had been able to fight off.  The door she gestured to was her lavender bedroom wall that holds just a single round clock.  Unsure how to respond, I locked the wall and returned to her bedside.  I assured her that the man wouldn't be able to come back in and she thanked me.  She held eye contact with me, but I noticed her gaze was hallow.  I am afraid we are starting to loose Grandma.

     My mother has fit the role of caregiver better than anyone I have personally seen.  Doctors and nurses are trained to take care of the sick, however the love that is shown by a daughter in law is not something you can learn in medical school.  Over and over again I have heard my father praise my mom for how well she works with my Grandma, I too praise her.  But I also praise God that he has given me such a wonderful influence and teacher as my mommy.  God has used her in so many ways, and as a great example of His love for us.

     "Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat the younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity."

                                      -1 Timothy 5:1-2

     I have learned so much this week.  And, although I would never wish my Grandma to be in this state, I am thankful for all that God has taught me and my family through this experience.  I have seen love, sacrifice, serving, and joy displayed so beautifully and am very proud of my family.  This is what we do with Grandma.

Day One

     My grandmother just recently was put on hospice due to seizures that left her weak and temporarily bed ridden. The seizures were shocking to our family members as my 95 year old grandmother had been remarkably mobile and sane for her age.  When I arrived at the hospital the day of her seizures I was not sure what state she would be in.

     Palms sweating and heart racing I entered the emergency room and quickly searched for her room number.  My heart dropped when I came upon her room and heard her voice yelling nonsense.  Not a word she spoke was English and her eyes were closed.  My mom informed me that she most likely had multiple seizures and that the doctor's were not sure what the lasting affects could be.

     Thankfully she regained her speech and had opened her eyes a day later.  Many things were in question regarding her care.  We were not sure whether she would require to much for her to stay home with my family.  After three days past we were happy to hear that she would be released on hospice care, in the comfort of our home.  This is where our journey began.

     Before this experience, I had never known the trials families went through to care for their loved ones who they couldn't bare see admitted to a nursing home.  I also never knew the blessing that could come out of hospice.  Medicine, feeding, and an occasional diaper change are common occurencies we face each day.  We also have times of joy, laughter, tears, and pain.  This is what I do with Grandma.